That’s What She Said!

how to annoy me
March 3, 2009, 9:06 am
Filed under: crazy

boast about what kind of mother you are and how much better your parenting techniques are while your child is only 3 weeks old.

Comments Off on how to annoy me

walkup films
February 18, 2009, 12:28 pm
Filed under: life

He may be only a junior in highschool, but this kid, Jon Walkup, is loaded with incredible talent. He makes movies, which started as a hobby. But it’s now what he wants to do with his life. Every time I talk to him he always says, “Hollie, when I’m 18, you and Hazel and I are all moving to L.A. and I’m going to become a famous movie director and we’re going to get married and be hella rich.”

He’s currently working on his first full length feature. He keeps telling me I can have a part in it. We’ll see….

Support one of my best friends and his dream to make it big in Hollywood one day.

this is why i hate the news
February 11, 2009, 1:52 pm
Filed under: crazy, stupidity

Leave the woman alone.

There are more selfish, horrible people out there.

Seriously, live your own life, worry about your own children.

If the people who are making her story a big deal REALLY CARE… donate to her fund. And say a prayer.

If she’s that bad at this whole mom thing, obviously CPS has their eye on her, I’m sure the kids will be okay.

8 Months
February 8, 2009, 11:57 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Dear Hazel,

Today you are 8 months old. So many things happened in the month of January it feels like it’s been 8 years. Mommy has been stretching herself a little thin between working, friends, and family. So forgive me if I forget to mention something of importance…your mother is a hot mess who recently stopped straightening her hair because it saves 10 whole minutes of time in her day. I have yet to fold the basket of laundry that has taken up residence in the middle of our shared bedroom. I won’t tell you that it’s been there for 8 or 9 days now. And the clothes on our floor get kicked into the closet into a pile almost as tall as my dresser. I won’t be surprised when you’re a few years older and begin to have night terrors about a dirty laundry monster coming to collect your soul. I am not the tidiest person to share a room with. My car is even worse. No wonder you recently decided to scream your head off for the entire length of any car ride. Thanks for that by the way. I hated being able to hear.


January wasn’t just crazy busy for me, you my darling had your first cold, brought on by your first tooth. You started to eat hard foods, like biscuts and toats and banana cookies. Last week I started you on stage 3 baby barf food. No seriously, it looks like real meals…just chewed, swallowed, and up-chucked. However, you also enjoy it when we go out to eat, I’ll order wedge fries and cut them open to feed you the un-fried potato part. And if anyone orders anything that has sauce, like spaghetti, or the spread In and Out uses on their burgers…it’s ON! You will challenge that person a dual to the death using only your single tooth.



You’re a mover and a shaker. You have yet to crawl, however I am the meanest mommy in town and I prop you up on your knees and hold you in place so you get used to the feeling. When you’re on your tummy, you do this “swimming” motion and if you’re trying to go forward to get to a toy, you actually end up swimming backwards. Aunties get a kick out of it. I get a kick out of you taking off your own diaper. The other morning, I was changing you out of your PJs and into play clothes. After I changed your diaper, I left you on the floor to go get something for you to wear. I come back not even 2 minutes later…and there you are, totally naked, gnawing on your diaper, and waving it in the air as if to say “VICTORY!”



Something else that’s new. Every Monday from last week on, is a 9 hour long playdate with Amelia! Man, you two wear  eachother out. But it’s nice how you take turns eating and pooping and sleeping. It’s never a dull moment.


Next month you will be 9 months old and it will also be G-ma’s birthday. Have fun with that one. You two can fight over the cake.




my head will most likely explode if i don’t get this out.
January 15, 2009, 8:57 pm
Filed under: life

I’m really tired of it.

The drama. The resentment. The judgmental people. It’s not your life. It’s mine.

I am not a bad mom. I know I’m not. My baby is 7 months old and she has never been sick. She is beautiful and healthy and happy. The worst thing I do as a mom is having no money. Other people have their own opinions.

Apparently re-connecting with your ex boyfriend is the worst thing in the world. And people hold rediculous grudges for outrageous amounts of times. I know I really have no reason to explain this situation to any one, because it’s nobody’s business but my own…but I’m going to anyway. I’m sick of the tension, and the looks, and the snide, rude, HURTFUL comments.

Drew and I dated first in 2006, a little while after he broke up with his first girlfriend, S. Well, although I did not know just how crazy she was at the time, I sure do know now. Drew and I may have had a rocky relationship in the beginning. When we were both selfish and less mature. And S didn’t help. When we were together, she would send him texts on the side, and of course Drew would hide them from me, thinking his doing that would keep me from finding out, and ultimately getting jealous and starting a fight. Eh, I found out anyways and got jealous and started a fight. When Drew and I were broken up, to ensure that would wouldn’t get back together, S and her mother together started rumors and spread lies. The most malicious stuff too.  And I mean, why wouldn’t I believe them? Drew wasn’t around to defend himself and why would they lie? Drew lived with them at one point. They MUST be telling the truth!
I may have passed on things that those two had said to me to friends and close family members. Thinking they were true, I absolutely had no intentions of ever even seeing Drew again, even just at a party or around Tracy.
Obviously, I found out a lot of other things S and her mom had said to me weren’t true, so I started to find holes in their other stories. A lot of things, I just found out lurking comments and profiles on myspace. Others I figured out for myself.

Drew was and is a faithful boyfriend to me. He is head over heels in love with Hazel and has told me on more than one occasion that he’d do anything in the world for her. Some people think he’s not worthy because he doesn’t drive. OH MY GOD HOW DOES ANYONE DO ANYTHING WITH OUT A CAR!?
Or because of his career. Doing tattoos, he makes more in one day, than I do in 2 weeks. Who are you to look down on someone for how they make their money? He’s not selling his body. He’s not selling drugs. He’s not doing anything illegal at all actually. Stop acting like I’m dating a criminal.

It’s also serious between us. So let’s try to keep the comments to ourselves now please. Don’t degrade our relationship because you don’t approve. When have I ever done that to any of my friends or family members? Okay, once that I can think of and that’s because Zoe’s boyfriend called my dad a jerk for no reason. He disrespected our family. Drew never has disrespected anyone in my family. Or any one of my friends. All he wants is a chance to prove himself to the people that matter in my life. He wants to take care of Hazel and I.

Why do people have to intentionally make this situation harder than it needs to be? LET ME BE HAPPY!

I’ve been miserable, if you haven’t noticed, since before I even got pregnant. There’s absolutely no one in this world who has the right to tell me I can’t do what I need to for me and my daughter to be happy.

If you believe otherwise, maybe you don’t belong in my life.

7 months old
January 8, 2009, 2:07 pm
Filed under: darling daughter

Dear Hazel,

Today you are officially 7 months old. It’s very early in the morning (or late at night, depending on your preference) and you are fast asleep. You are currently teething, and I guess that means you’re a big girl now who thinks she’s too old for naps. You crashed and burned hard tonight. You usually put up a fight at bed time, we rock you and hum and shh you to sleep every single night, but according to the parenting books and blogs, you should have been able to put yourself to sleep like, 4 months ago. Oh well, you’re spoiled.

xmas1You got a walker for Christmas (among a thousand other toys and clothes), and I swear, ever since then, you are progressing with your interest in everything around you. You finally can roll over from your back to your tummy, for the longest time it was like you were a turtle stuck on it’s back. You know how to take your bib off and fling it across the room. You pass whatever toy you’re holding from one hand to the other and back again. Just yesterday morning I said “HI!” to you and I swear you said it back. Of course you don’t know what it means yet, but you mimicked the sound, which I thought was neat.

fiiingersIt’s come to my attention that you have a thing for guys with facial hair. Like mother, like daughter I presume. When I was a baby I thought all men with beards were my father. I also thought ever black guy was Bill Cosby…so I wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box. Maybe it’s cause G-Pa has facial hair…when any of my guy friends are around you, if their face is bald you hardly give them the time of day. But if they have even lazy stubble, you are all about it. With the coy looks and the flirty blinks, which you also inherited from me. Okay, that’s it. You’re getting bars on your bedroom window and a 4 pm curfew until you’re married.

faceYou sure are an amazing child with an enormous personality. These seven months have flown right by. I am excited for what this month will bring…teeth? crawling or some form there-of? I love how every day, there is always something new with you.


I love you baby girl.



December 27, 2008, 3:30 am
Filed under: life


my grandfather who passed away 2 years ago, and i as a baby about 7 months old.

rip, g-pa.
i miss being a little girl and coming over to pick the raspberries growing in your garden.
and sitting at the tv tray table in the living room coloring while you and my dad watched football every saturday after he’d do your yard work.
and wanting to play with your teddy bears that you collected so bad.
and sneaking drinks of your diet pepsi and the carbonation burning my mouth and nose.
and how you smelled of cigarettes and leather. always. even when you quit cause of the cancer.

you are missed.
and loved.