That’s What She Said!

my head will most likely explode if i don’t get this out.
January 15, 2009, 8:57 pm
Filed under: life

I’m really tired of it.

The drama. The resentment. The judgmental people. It’s not your life. It’s mine.

I am not a bad mom. I know I’m not. My baby is 7 months old and she has never been sick. She is beautiful and healthy and happy. The worst thing I do as a mom is having no money. Other people have their own opinions.

Apparently re-connecting with your ex boyfriend is the worst thing in the world. And people hold rediculous grudges for outrageous amounts of times. I know I really have no reason to explain this situation to any one, because it’s nobody’s business but my own…but I’m going to anyway. I’m sick of the tension, and the looks, and the snide, rude, HURTFUL comments.

Drew and I dated first in 2006, a little while after he broke up with his first girlfriend, S. Well, although I did not know just how crazy she was at the time, I sure do know now. Drew and I may have had a rocky relationship in the beginning. When we were both selfish and less mature. And S didn’t help. When we were together, she would send him texts on the side, and of course Drew would hide them from me, thinking his doing that would keep me from finding out, and ultimately getting jealous and starting a fight. Eh, I found out anyways and got jealous and started a fight. When Drew and I were broken up, to ensure that would wouldn’t get back together, S and her mother together started rumors and spread lies. The most malicious stuff too.  And I mean, why wouldn’t I believe them? Drew wasn’t around to defend himself and why would they lie? Drew lived with them at one point. They MUST be telling the truth!
I may have passed on things that those two had said to me to friends and close family members. Thinking they were true, I absolutely had no intentions of ever even seeing Drew again, even just at a party or around Tracy.
Obviously, I found out a lot of other things S and her mom had said to me weren’t true, so I started to find holes in their other stories. A lot of things, I just found out lurking comments and profiles on myspace. Others I figured out for myself.

Drew was and is a faithful boyfriend to me. He is head over heels in love with Hazel and has told me on more than one occasion that he’d do anything in the world for her. Some people think he’s not worthy because he doesn’t drive. OH MY GOD HOW DOES ANYONE DO ANYTHING WITH OUT A CAR!?
Or because of his career. Doing tattoos, he makes more in one day, than I do in 2 weeks. Who are you to look down on someone for how they make their money? He’s not selling his body. He’s not selling drugs. He’s not doing anything illegal at all actually. Stop acting like I’m dating a criminal.

It’s also serious between us. So let’s try to keep the comments to ourselves now please. Don’t degrade our relationship because you don’t approve. When have I ever done that to any of my friends or family members? Okay, once that I can think of and that’s because Zoe’s boyfriend called my dad a jerk for no reason. He disrespected our family. Drew never has disrespected anyone in my family. Or any one of my friends. All he wants is a chance to prove himself to the people that matter in my life. He wants to take care of Hazel and I.

Why do people have to intentionally make this situation harder than it needs to be? LET ME BE HAPPY!

I’ve been miserable, if you haven’t noticed, since before I even got pregnant. There’s absolutely no one in this world who has the right to tell me I can’t do what I need to for me and my daughter to be happy.

If you believe otherwise, maybe you don’t belong in my life.


5 Comments so far
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I don’t know who is telling you that you are wrong on how you are living your life, but in my opinion, unless they can walk on water, resurrect the deceased, and/or bring world peace and end world hunger, s/he has no right to tell another how to live especially in a case such as yours. As long as you and Hazel are happy and healthy..things are good.

I’ve got your back.

Comment by Heather

thank you!

Comment by hollieausta

gee, wonder who this is directed to?
all i can say is from your parents’ perspective is that we were there when your heart was broken, we were there all of last year when so many weren’t and we have been here for all the life of your wonderful daughter. i meant it when i said today that you are a good mom, an awesome mom. but all we know of you and drew is what you have told us and what we have witnessed, especially all the pain in the past. we wouldn’t be good parents (like you) if we didn’t want to be certain that your heart, your daughter’s heart and your family’s hearts aren’t broken again…you seem to forget that when you two broke up you weren’t the only one who was hurting. we welcomed him with open arms. give us time to heal and get used to this again. can you honestly say we didn’t try last sunday…WE DID!!! but it is a two way street and well, given how he had a piece of our heart last time perhaps he needs to be a little more giving, forgiving, understanding of our own hurts and mistrust and quit hiding in your bedroom when he does visit!
next time just tell me how you feel…really!

Comment by Laura

You go girl! I have had to say that many times in my own life even concerning my own husband. I with you babe!

Comment by Maria

Hope you are ok….

Comment by Heather

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