That’s What She Said!


how to annoy me
March 3, 2009, 9:06 am
Filed under: crazy

boast about what kind of mother you are and how much better your parenting techniques are while your child is only 3 weeks old.

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this is why i hate the news
February 11, 2009, 1:52 pm
Filed under: crazy, stupidity

Leave the woman alone.

There are more selfish, horrible people out there.

Seriously, live your own life, worry about your own children.

If the people who are making her story a big deal REALLY CARE… donate to her fund. And say a prayer.

If she’s that bad at this whole mom thing, obviously CPS has their eye on her, I’m sure the kids will be okay.



i have officially gone off the deep end
November 22, 2008, 1:15 pm
Filed under: crazy, darling daughter

I am obsessed with my baby’s smell.

Like, the way a child LOVES the way their favorite blanket or teddy bear smells right before their mean, horrible, torturous mother washes it. I could sit there and just sniff her for hours. Especially, like the back of her neck for some reason is the best spot.

I actually prefer the scent of Hazel rather than the generic “baby” smell manufactured by Johnson & Johnson.

My mom thinks I’m crazy, and you probably do too.



LOATHED TATTOO FAQ
November 12, 2008, 12:30 pm
Filed under: crazy, vans

So at work tonight, I was ringing a woman and her daughter up. Before I repeat the conversation, I have to say that she looked to be about in her mid-thirties, her daughter looked somewhere around 11-13. By no means did the woman look too conservative or “out of the loop” but who knows… maybe she was raised amish.

As I’m handing this woman’s change and receipt back to her…

Woman: Can I see the inside of your arm..?

Me: Sure…holli(motioning like a dork with my two fingers and a strand of my hair..) I’m a hairstylist. (I have to say that right away because people ALWAYS ask why I have scissors. Sometimes even people who I have done their hair before.)

Woman (GRABBING MY ARM): Is it REAL?

Me: uhm…? (Thinking is she serious?) Yes, it’s very real.

Woman: What about those roses?

Me: (with just a SMIDGE of sarcasm) You know, I’m not too sure. I mean, they’ve been there for an awfully long time. They’re either real or that some really good permanent marker…

Woman: WOW! Did it hurt?

(woman’s daughter now rolling her eyes are starting to wander towards the door)

Me: Yes, all tattoos hurt. That’s what makes them so special.

Woman: They didn’t give you any anesthesia? Or like, a numbing shot?

Me: No…tattoo artists are not doctors, they can’t legally do that. (Seeing her brimming with OODLES of more annoying questions…) Well, have an AWESOME night ladies…. CAN I HELP THE NEXT CUSTOMER IN LINE!?!?

Hmm, and here I thought tattoos were more popular now-a-days. Didn’t think my arm would be molested like that…uhh..ever.

I wonder what she would have done or said if I was wearing a shirt in which you could see my chest tattoo?

((((I WONDER HOW MANY MORE PARENTHESIS I CAN USE IN MY NEXT BLOG POST))))



since my stupid scanner is broken…
November 10, 2008, 12:26 pm
Filed under: crazy, hot bod

You all have to suffer and look at a picture of me in my chonies. I WAS going to upload a tasteful picture of me in a designer dress at Dannie’s wedding. But since my mom never takes pictures of me anymore, (at least when I’m looking decent…) this is all I have for now.

5monthspostpartum

Anyways, I have only 15 more pounds to lose until my driver’s license isn’t lying anymore. I took this picture last week for a friend who I haven’t seen since I was 8 months pregnant and >170 pounds. (I stopped looking at the scale after I reached that number…)

I’m pretty damn proud of myself. Especially since Zoe’s size 3 jeans kept sliding off my hips today, I tried on my 2nd favorite pair of pre-pregnancy jeans (because my first favorite pair i know for a fact are still too tight to button) and they totally fit.

I’m pretty sure it’s because of the new job. Man, do I ever sweat it out there. Scaling the 12 foot racks in the stock room to get a certain style shoe, running around, lifting heavy boxes, and hardly time to eat because our mall doesn’t have a food court, just expensive sit down places or overly crowded food stands…or Cinnabon. The mall ACROSS THE STREET has the food court, but since they’re doing road work between the two malls, it takes 10 minutes to get over there, 10 to get your food, 10 to drive back and find parking, and then you can’t eat. Holy shit what a run-on sentence. PS: Why there’s two malls right next to eachother…I have no clue. Don’t ask.

So anyways, here is what I looked like 2 weeks after the last time my friend saw me:

37-weeksbmpI know right?
What’s funny is that shirt I’m wearing was my absolute favorite shirt. And every time I washed it, it totally went back into shape, and I still can wear it now.

I still can’t believe I was ever that huge.

(uhm, and can we talk about how many effing parenthesis there are in this post!?)



i wish i was her
October 30, 2008, 1:19 pm
Filed under: crazy, life

I LOVE Chelsea Lately. That whole week my parents were in St. Louis and I had control of the TV (muahahaha) I watched her show every single night. She cracks me up. And regardless of how you feel, just watch the video, I almost woke Hazel up from my laughing.

And bare (bear?) with me, it’s only another week until the elections and then I promise to keep my (political) opinions to myself… (my fingers are crossed behind my back. HEY! I’m honest about it at least)



Don’t get caught in my spinning vortex
October 28, 2008, 12:00 pm
Filed under: crazy, life

Just like Heather, I too do my best blog writing in my head while driving. all though while I was thinking about writing this blog two days ago, I made a mental note to remember just what I wanted to vent about. But, it’s not like it’s hard to forget being bombarded by the same thing every single day.

I found this image using google image search:

I’m not sure where these signs are located, but you obviously get the hint.

Since all of my friends and family are free thinkers, stubborn, and opinionated, I have a hard time believing there would be people out there swayed by an over abundance of political signs.

I’m kind of on the fence about this one…I know that people are free to express their thoughts and political views however they so choose as long as it’s not illegal. But there is a certain sign I see at least 20 of if I drive within a 5 mile radius of my house. And I thought of this blog entry while driving because not only are there signs, there are now bumper stickers as well. And for some reason, this one prop just hits a nerve with everyone, no matter which way you choose to vote on it. (As I type this right now, I hear the ad on TV for it. UGH!)

The only person I know that proudly supports this prop was so hypocritical when I flat out asked him what his reasoning was. He was raised Mormon, so it makes a lot of sense as to why he supports it. His mother also voluntarily goes door to door to registered voters houses to inform them about this prop and why they should vote yes.
Obviously, his opinion is bias, because of his mother. He says, “I don’t care if they’re gay, and I don’t care if they teach it in schools, because it’s not going to TURN kids gay, but I don’t want those HOMOS to get married in my church.” However, later in the day, the issue was brought up again, prompted by the ads on TV and he said “What if Hazel was taught that in school? And then she wanted to marry another girl?” I replied with “Good for her, as long as she’s happy in life, I don’t care who she marries.” It only added fuel to his fire and he spouted off about how she wouldn’t be married in his church. Um, well if I ever get married it would most likely not be in a church, seeing how I only go on Mother’s Day, or Easter, sometimes Christmas.
It just seems to me he couldn’t come up with a solid foundation to build his ideals on.
But in any case, I’m pretty damn sure Hazel won’t convert to Mormonism and decide to get married there, to a woman. If she’s ever interested in a certain religion, she is more than welcome to go visit that church and see how she likes it. My good friend Kasey was Mormon and brought my other good friend Tiana and I with her one Sunday. Little did I know I was going to be there all day. And also be taught at the age of 13 that when I grow up, I am to be married as soon as possible and my only job would be to have the kids, and CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN just in case company where to ever casually drop by. I would look like a horrible wife and mother if anything was out of place. Obviously, I rebelled against a lady who’s face I have long forgotten by keeping dishes on my desk, clothes on my floor, and papers, important or not, wherever they may land.

It’s off topic now.

Okay…so my main point of this blog was, really is there truly anyone out there who is or has been swayed by the overwhelming amount of political ads or signs? To me, that just seems like sheer laziness. It’s not that hard to watch the news or research something you plan to vote on.
Also, the other point is: I’m sure as hell not scared to hold back my opinion when it comes to most anything. But putting a sign in your yard makes you a target to vandalism, hate or pointless rants on my blog. Oh yeah, bumper stickers do too.